Make It Make Sense
Putting the puzzle pieces together...
Ahhh, closing out the lovely Virgo season with all her Earthbound energy focusing on organization and practicality. Which is perfect when working with beliefs.
Over the past 7ish months, I’ve been diving into my own beliefs right alongside you. Looking at them, examining them, turning them around to see their many facets. I took the time to explore those beliefs about myself, about others, detecting what my body felt when moving those beliefs through my energy centers. And the result has been a jumbled mess of words and emotions and confusion and betrayal and hope and determination and and and… AND
This is where my Virgo rising gets to shine. Making it make sense.
Disclaimer…. Some things will never “make sense” but sorting through the things that can and will make sense brings a lot of space to move things around, putting things into their right and perfect place and essentially restructuring the systems.
I now know that my pattern recognition and desire for ultimate efficiencies make me good at most any job I take on. (By choice of course because fuck what other people want me to do.) I can see from a third party perspective and take in the bird’s eye view. (A skill I was taught when I was in the 6th grade by my middle school guidance counselor. Thanks Mr X!) In practically every job I had in my youth, I found myself organizing and “fixing” the space I was in. And then once I had created the efficiencies to improve the flow of everything I touched in my role, I would basically stop showing up for work because I had “solved the problem,” and I was energetically ready to move on to the next thing. Back then I had no idea that’s what was happening, but keeping a job was like keeping the same dating partner: good luck if you last beyond a day or so once the shiny newness wore off. So back then, my belief was that I couldn’t hold a job.
I can see my own patterns from then because I have renewed perspective now. When you’re in the mural, you can only see paint splotches around you. When you change your position and perspective, you can see the entire picture. This is why journaling is such a powerful tool when trying to sort out your shit. You can take the words, feelings, circumstances and situations and move them from the swirling chaos in your mind, to something tangible on a piece of paper. It may feel like dumping a jigsaw puzzle onto the table, but you gotta start somewhere, and flipping the pieces upright is a fantastic way to begin.
The next step is to preserve the beliefs that resonate, what is still structurally sound, and then remove what is detrimental, that which no longer serves or aligns with your greatest good.
Think of it like buying and moving into a really old house. Some of the structure is still solid, foundation strong, while some of it needs replacing. You start tearing down the walls that block graceful movement from room to room in order to create more space and better flow. And in this process, you uncover and reveal the inner workings, the plumbing, electrical, insulation, etc., that might need some TLC.
You need the pipes, but do you need rusted out 100 year old ones? You need electrical wiring, but do you need frayed, split and burnt out wires? Those necessary pieces of the home might no longer serve it, but you can’t just rip it out without replacing it with something new if you plan on living comfortably in the house. Something that works in the here and now. Because that outhouse on the back of the property might carry some antiquated charm, but is that what you’re going to be using day to day? Walking your half-asleep ass to the outhouse at 2 am to take care of business? Or are you going to update the damn pipes in your en-suite so you have COMFORT?
Do you even realize how many of your own beliefs make you uncomfortable??? I bet your journal does…
So go look at your journal! Maybe go back one month. Notice the language used, the words expressed. Then go back another month, and then another. Not necessarily all in one day, because we are not trying to rush this. This is part of that data collection I’m so fond of. Because if I’m going to rip out the pipes of this old house, I need to take the time to carefully remove them so I can better understand what I need to replace them with. And if I don’t want to be taking a shit in the outhouse, I need to get the new pipes delivered before I tear it all out.
But what the fuck am I supposed to replace those old beliefs with?
Something that serves you. Not necessarily the opposite of what doesn’t serve you, but more like a curated belief that’s rooted in your own personal lived experiences, one that offers hope and optimism. Looking at your journal will likely show you what needs to go. AND, because your awareness shines a light on that, use that same awareness to find the words that become an inspirational mantra you can affirm day after day.
Here’s one of my favorite anecdotal examples:
I believe I’m not athletic.
Fact finding: I studied dance, and ice skated every single weekend for years. I used to love playing dodgeball and kickball in elementary school. I competed on my High School swim team. I can snowboard. I do yoga and pilates. I like hiking (in green mountains on trails, specifically.)
Examination: Ok clearly I am athletic to some degree. WHY do I believe I’m not athletic? /buffering buffering buffering buffering…
Olympic athletes are athletic. People who have a specific body type and run marathons are athletes. I am not competitive at an Olympic level (and honestly only joined the swim team so I didn’t fail another semester of PE making me ineligible to graduate.) I loathe running. I don’t focus my whole existence on exercise. I don’t like most “ball” sports (because I’m not good at them) and the gym makes me angry (because I’m not good at it.) Therefore I am not athletic.
Awareness: My goodness so many little baby beliefs in that one big belief. There’s archetypal beliefs, capability beliefs, shit I’m sure I just made up from who knows the fuck where. But isn’t that data collection interesting? The deeper dive reveals I think I’m not good at anything I’m not perfect at the first time around, and my hand-eye coordination is a bit lacking when it comes to things like sports, and I don’t like things I’m not good at… I could seriously go on forever so let’s just move on… lol
Healing Practice:
Does it matter in this moment where the beliefs came from? NOPE.
Can I identify which beliefs do not align with the truth of my lived experiences? YES
What needs to be released? My belief that I am not an athletic person.
What do I want to replace that belief with? While I may not be a professional athlete, I am athletic.
Now my belief around being athletic or not might seem like it’s fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of all things life. However, this specific belief has prevented me from saying yes to a lot of things my family, friends and peers invited me to participate in. It forced a default response which my ego fueled in a perceived effort to keep me safe. Safe from harm and safe from the embarrassment of harming myself, not doing it right, being perceived as incapable, all of which will lead me to being kicked out of the cave to suffer and DIE in an ice age. Sigh
Now it’s your turn!
So on that note, I invite you to leave the chaos of eclipse season behind along with the chaos of your old beliefs, set your intentions with this lovely new moon energy to bring forward new beliefs and foundations that align with the you of today, and take yet another step that will ultimately #setyoursoulfree.
Love love love,
Tarah